I assume this whole ask is based off the fact I’ve tweeted a lot of “rap” based jokes lately. That’s mostly because I’m currently writing for a TV show rooted in the rap and hip hop world so I spend all day talking about it, and - as a comedian - I make jokes about what’s on my mind. Now, I’m not going to just plug or shill my work, ESPECIALLY not CHOZEN, the new cartoon coming to FXX this winter. I definitely won’t mention I’m writing for CHOZEN coming to FXX this winter - and you definitely should not CALL YOUR LOCAL CABLE PROVIDER to find out if you receive FXX so you can watch CHOZEN coming to FXX this winter.
Ok. I’m going to go ahead and tackle a serious response to this. The first part will be more generalized to the way I feel this question is problematic, then the final bit will be me straight up defending myself.
Full disclosure, my answer is going to be very, very long. But I’m taking my time to organize and edit it - as I value your time and mine - and would appreciate anyone reading to at least get through the first, generalized part. Then you can bail if you don’t really care about me defending myself to a “h8er.” Normally I wouldn’t even bother with a personal defense - because I’m pretty confident in myself - but as I’m persuing a career that forces myself into people’s live the least I can do is explain myself when I feel I’ve made any sort of mistake or there’s any sort of confusion.
There will be a lot of personal examples as I make my points. I’m not trying to sneakily defend myself to you, it’s just that I don’t want to pretend to know what other people have experienced or use facts or statistics I don’t understand.
NOW! LET’S GET ON WITH IT!
That you said “white privileged girls” is like feeling someone sticking their fingers into my bulimia-induced ulcer and twisting, then also saying some sexist bullshit.
I was having a conversation with one of the bartenders, and just as she turned away to help another customer, a guy walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.
He offered me the drink in his hand, and I politely said “No, thank you.”
As I was turning back towards bar, he very quickly got hostile…
"Why?! Do you think I put something in it???! Don’t flatter yourself! Nobody is tryin’ to fuck a whale like you! Fuckin’ bitch" and then he slammed the drink down on the bar and walked away. That. Fucking. Fast.
So, hey, everyone! This fuckstick actually thinks if someone drugs you and rapes you it’s apparently a fucking compliment! It means he, in all his generous wisdom, has deemed you NOT a disgusting worthless slob and he thinks you should be fucking HONORED that he would assault your unconscious body!
I am fucking sick over the fact that people like this appalling piece of shit even exist.
A good friend of mine two weeks ago was beaten and left for dead in Chicago. He met a straight guy that led him on and eventually took his virginity when he became paranoid someone would find out he had his friends beat my friend with a bat.
you can preach about slut-shaming all you want, but you can’t deny there’s something very wrong with 13 and 14-year old girls going out in skirts and dresses so short they barely cover their asses and shirts with necklines so low they show off cleave they haven’t got yet, drinking and even smoking and hooking up with guys before they even have a substantial knowledge of how sex and sexual relationships work.
Maybe what’s actually wrong is a culture that sexualizes 13 and 14 year old girls and tells them that this is what is expected of women and it’s the only way to get male attention. You can blame them all you want, but you can’t deny that there’s something very wrong with things like marketing stripper poles (complete with a garter and fake money), thongs, and padded bras to prepubescent girls, all while telling them their virginity is their only source of value
i hate saying stuff about myself in conversations or even saying “me too” because it feels like i’m always trying to turn the conversation around to make it about me because i’m a self-centered shitstick
Same. But the real self-centered shitstick is the awful ass who stops talking to you when it’s not all about them anymore.
I will never understand the point of and obsession with thigh gaps
it’s space between the thighs whoop-de-motherfucking-doo
I have to wear shorts under all my skirts and dresses because my thighs rub together. The skin gets rubbed raw and is super painful and scabs up the next day which then cracks and bleeds. So, in that sense I’d like a thigh gap…
a dude at the gym just reached in his bag, pulled out a bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, smiled & shook his head like that’s just something that happens to people, put it back and then pulled out a bottle of water instead
I was in French class one morning, three hours after getting home from a night of drinking, and I reached into my bag for my water bottle. I instead pulled out a bottle of Siracha my friend had stolen from the bar and left in my bag. Everyone saw. My professor stopped teaching mid-sentence and stared at me. All I could do was put my head down on my desk for the rest of class.
“I find my self never wanting anyone to know how I am feeling, but at the exact same time its all I want them to know. To know I feel like dying half the time or I feel like i’m so hollow inside I could break.”
Take your meds. People who go off their meds are scary and dangerous, and I heard about one of them who went on a rampage. But also, you shouldn’t need your medication to function. Everybody is over medicated these days and it’s not the Real You ™ once those pills touch your tongue.
It’s really irritating to have to put up with your weird requests and boundaries and all that attention you need. But tell us what we can do to help you!
Think positive. Keep thinking positive. Are you thinking positive thoughts? What about now?
It’s really important that you get treatment, but isn’t, like, everybody mentally ill these days?
Definitely don’t have problems with substance abuse, because at that point it’s all a lack of willpower.
Make sure you have a disorder that’s commonplace enough for us to recognize it, but not too common–that’s the stuff everybody has these days, and it’s probably because the [internet/technology/schools] are causing it.
All the THIS ^^^^ in the world isn’t enough to convey how fucking true this is.
you should also be careful to only take acceptable meds, if you need any kind of sedative you’re probably just a lying drug addict, if you need ritalin or adderall you’re either a stupid dupe who only THINKS they need what evil big pharma is selling OR you’re a lying drug addict, basically be sure you don’t need any kind of drug that could be considered to have “street value”, unless you are white, thin, and from a respectable middle-class or upper-class background.
And remember, the only acceptable form of PTSD is from a traumatic experience that isn’t the one you went through. I’m pretty sure I read that PTSD is only caused by being a soldier in a war zone. But I’m also pretty sure all those homeless vets are just creepy drug addicted baby-killers. It’s best to not be a trauma survivor because if you are, you should know that you’re not REALLY mentally ill, you just need to get over a shitty thing that happened. But if you’re not a trauma survivor, you have no reason to feel sad or fucked up ever, so what’s you’re problem anyway.
Make sure you aren’t poor and that doctors can’t racialize you in any way, too. being those things definitely make you a drug-seeker and danger to others, and also a liar and also stupid about The Way Big Pharma Created Mental Illness To Keep You Down, either way if you’re poor and/or not white, and especially if you are both, you really should know better all around.
Do you ever wish you could stop living for a while? I don’t mean kill yourself, but just something temporary. Like maybe voluntarily go into a coma for a couple months to escape everything awful for a while and maybe see if anybody would have missed you.